I have always believed myself to be the type of person who forgives quickly, loves generously, and holds herself accountable for mistakes made. But, today’s prompt question has me struggling with my own self-righteousness.
Who are you holding a grudge against that you need to ask forgiveness for?
This brought me to a halt this morning. I like to think I own up to the things I have done wrong. Sometimes, I come right out and admit it and other times it takes some self reflection. Definitely reflecting this morning.
My immediate reaction was to think of the conflict I had earlier this week. But, I quickly realized that dispute is top of mind simply because it just happened. In the whole scope of my life, it is has little to no weight.
Where my heart led me was to the situation with my Bug and how painful that has been over the last year. It broke my heart and my husband’s heart. It caused me to despise people I love. It led me to a level of loathing that I had no idea I was capable of.
“There is a thin line between love and hate.”
This rang so true for weeks on end. But, I prayed daily that God would help me to forgive. I wanted peace. And God, in his glorious love of me, has helped me to get there. But, I have not truly forgiven everyone. I am not fully at peace yet with the situation. So, continued prayers and work to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
Day 1 of 30 Days of Thankfulness: I’m thankful for the realization that I have more work to do.